WORDS: SUZANA MIHAJLOVIC, INTERNATIONAL BEST SELLING AUTHOR AND SPEAKER, FOUNDER AND LEAD SUCCESS COACH, YOUR2MINDS PTY LTD
PHOTOGRAPHY: GORAN DOJCINOVIC
HAIR: MIRJANA CURUVIJA JANECIC
IF YOU WERE TO WRITE A STORY ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WHAT TYPE OF STORY WOULD IT BE? WOULD IT BE A DRAMA, AN ADVENTURE OR A HORROR STORY? EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US HAS A STORY TO TELL. OUR STORIES ARE FULL OF OVERCOMING CHALLENGES, OF SORROW AND SOMETIMES EVEN OF BEING A VICTIM.
If we were completely honest with ourselves and held our sense of humor, we would laugh out loud, in hysterics, not only due to the funny and joyful moments we have shared but also because of the embarrassing moments in our lives’ stories. No matter how much success you have had, in telling your story, you would most probably share moments where you could relate to the story of the main character Brigette from the movie Brigette Jones. I know I certainly can.
It is the ups and the downs that make us human. There are times that we will experience pain and maybe even some humiliation. All of these moments are what makes us who we are. Our stories bring our lives deeper meaning – love stories, stories of children growing up and beautiful stories of friendship. Stories that we will always cherish…..and there are also the stories that make us cringe, the mistakes, the heartbreaks and the ultimate overcoming of our existential challenges.
There is one story that most of us have been told since childhood that seems to be a common thread in our personal life experiences. If I had a magic wand that I could share with each person I speak to, it would be this story that they would like to change. Even after over thirty years of working in the helping professions, having lived, worked and traveled in very many different parts of the world, I am fascinated by the story that countless numbers of people I have worked with or met who have been told a story that is so similar and that is carried on throughout their lives and passed down from generation to generation.
It has been this story that has been consistently told in the coaching room, in self-help services, and in most cultures that I have been fortunate to experience. It is most probably a story familiar to you. It is a story that has very likely been shared in your family or your community. This story takes many shapes and forms. It is the story that can either tear you apart or make you stronger.
This same story that I have heard from almost every person I have spoken with is often also shared in love stories and in self destruction, or where there is a lack of love. It is a story that often makes most of us fearful and can potentially become a horror story.
Although you may be curious, you, no doubt, have experienced this story yourself. It is a story of the main character, you in this case, who holds a secret. It is an undeniable secret that is evident in the spotlight and obvious to the wise. It is seen in behavior and ultimately in who you are being each and every day. The secret is that whisper inside yourself that is constantly telling you that “You are not enough”. This secret message comes in a language that often stings and may take the form of anything like “I am not good enough”, “I am not loveable”, “I cannot succeed”. Of course there are other forms or whispers it shapes into but you get the gist.
This false message seems to have become a part of the human experience. It is the director, the author, the producer of the story that you tell about yourself and your life. It will write your love story, your heartbreak, your success story and your adventure or lack of it. It is the driving force of the lead character of your story, the lead character being yourself.
Think about it. How has this message led to the many stories you have about your life. Some of your stories have been shared and others remain hidden private stories. How have these types of messages, related to the underlying “not good enough” belief, created the story of your life in the past year? And how are they currently writing your story to be told many years from now?
You see, the thing is if you do not change these limiting and sometimes subconscious messages, you will never change your story. They will remain the author, director and producer of your story. They will control the story of your life. They steal the spotlight and become the star of your show – your show, meaning your life.
The great news is no matter what your story has been up until today, you can change it. Your story can change from a drama or a sob story into a bestselling adventure. I would like to invite you to take control of your story and create the most beautiful love story that you can imagine with you as the star, the hero and the one living the ultimate fairytale.
We are now heading into the new year. This is the perfect time to create your new story for the year ahead and the years of your life thereafter. Here are some simple steps to help you recreate your own personal story for the new year and for your life.
Understand that your mind is a goal achieving mechanism. What this means is, that whatever you feed your mind and focus on, it will eventually become your reality.
Write out your old story and the underlying messages about your limits that you have been telling yourself that are not true. This will help you understand why you have experienced your life, work or business results in your story up until now. It will help you release the parts that are not serving you.
Understand that within you is absolute genius. You have much more talent and ability that you could ever use in this lifetime. This is the truth. So, when you sense that your old limiting beliefs start to come in, change them immediately.
Write your new story. Ask yourself how you would love your life to be like in the year ahead and write it all down in present tense.
Focus on this new story every single day. You will start to think from the new story and ultimately your mood will change, the way you see yourself will change and how you show up in the world will change. Before you know it, you will be loving the story that you are living.
Although these steps seem simple, it is often the simple things that bring us lasting change. Remember, you are meant to be the superstar of your life. Make sure you are the one who controls your story and not your limiting beliefs. Become the author, director and producer of the best story that has ever been told and that is the story of your remarkable and beautiful life. You are worthy. You are enough.
If you need help in gaining clarity on what you would really love in all areas of your life, a FREE copy of the first chapter of my book, Your2Minds, is available on my website www.your2minds.com
