WORDS: ADRIAN DE GROOT
PHOTO: MIA MEDAKOVIĆ
During the founding of the United States of America, a Declaration of Independence was made in Congress on July 4, 1776, which included these words:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
This also meant to the signers that if the government “For and by the people” as they envisioned this, wasn’t doing their job to secure these “Rights of Liberty”, the people had the power to form a new government.
So, what does freedom mean to me? To me it has to be the freedom to indeed be totally free. But let me immediately add this condition: I my experience, I can never feel totally free if I am held back by resentment, non-forgiveness, fear, anxieties, stress, anger, hatred, revenge desires, and any other form of emotional and willful negativity that not only harms me, but others as well. Tyrants may think they are free, but I think they are certainly not.
Freedom means to me all circumstances and states of mind that indeed allows me the pursuit of happiness. Such freedom has to be free of the controls of other people, for after all, control is totally different from guidance. Many parents control their children instead of guiding them, which regretfully often leads to teenager troubles, mental traumas, suicides, substance abuse, and other forms of parent-child separations. Any relationship where one spouse is controlling the other is also without freedom.
People in their jobs, even in educational institutions are often controlled instead of given the freedom to be themselves, be and express their best, and life can feel like a straightjacket because of what is demanded and expected of us; how we should behave, even what we should think. Many religious people are therefore also not free. Academics who don’t follow the university’s dogmas are thus also not free, and neither are those university leaders. Many other examples can be cited.
Let’s take an example. When I see a person with a non-standard green-purple hair walking on the street, my impulse used to be to wish this person to the hair salon to make it “normal” again. Now I simple say to myself: “Wow isn’t that interesting; and I am happy for this person to be free to express this way”. If in my mind I disallow this hair color, I am not free.
To me freedom means the ability to be myself, to express myself without worrying about what other people think. And to allow others the same. Actually, it has already been proven by many who exactly live this way often go very far in life and the world and become successful, in one way or another. I’m not talking about financial success only, but about any level of happiness as the result of being yourself. That’s truly successful freedom!
Once in the United States, I was driving in the middle of the night with no traffic around me at all, and apparently didn’t make a full stop at a STOP sign, so the police came after me.
In Belgrade, I waited at a pedestrian crossing for the light to turn green to cross, but as there was no traffic at all, a police man on the other side gestured to me to cross anyways. What a funny difference! If indeed we become slaves to the laws and regulations of this world, we cannot be free. Laws were created to help and protect us, not to enslave us, but alas, many are enslaved by the many rules, laws, regulations, and by the egos of institutions, leaders, etc. In certain countries, if you don’t agree with the leadership, you may very well end up in jail or a labor camp.
Such a world is not free. A world at war is not free, because only with love can you be free. In America, gun rights are a big deal for many, who believe that the Second Amendment of the right to bear arms is of foremost importance. Yes, there are those who wish us harm, and we have the right to protect ourselves, but is such a troubled society free? Certainly not!
Thus, the world at large is clearly not a free world in that respect. Wars and conflicts in so many places these days. Also, our freedom is impeded by surveillance cameras, all forms of spying. Big Brothers everywhere.
What can I do? How can I, as a single “powerless” person, be free regardless of those outside forces? Is it even possible, I could ask myself, and then the answer is actually so simple: Yes, I can be totally free, because freedom is a state of mind over which no one has control but me. A mental, spiritual, rather than total physical freedom is what I am talking about. In this physical world I cannot be totally free: to many regulations, many of which I think are quite silly.
What freedom then means to me personally? To be free in my heart, to love, to embrace, to hug myself and others, to love nature, and all the forces that make this universe even possible. To live in gratitude, to choose love over anti-love, to forgive anyone and myself for anything. To be free to me means to love everyone and everything unconditionally, and to be free of any past that was less than ideal.
When you feel that your life or relationships are not ideal, you may be right, because you would need to make them ideal. The ideal is not automatically given. That is not a task, but an invitation, and indeed thus also a freedom: yes, to me freedom also means to choose consciously and wisely, to be responsible, to hold my ego and any selfishness back and to do my best in life to humbly be that ideal person. That can be a handful, a life’s work, but I want to commit myself to that every day, because it will be the true freedom maker.
I don’t necessarily need to pray or meditate or study deep books: I just have to commit myself to my own freedom, assert it, know I am totally worthy to be free, and that nothing or no one can hold me back, even if they threw me in prison for whatever. Nelson Mandela was in prison for 27 long years, but his freedom to commit to a loving, kind, forgiving, non-resentful and caring attitude earned him not only his freedom, but also the Presidency of South-Africa. What an example!
When the small African nation of Rwanda descended into chaos in April 1994, Immaculee Ilibagiza and seven other Tutsi women hid for their lives in a tiny, secret bathroom of a Hutu minister. For ninety-one terrifying days, they sat in silence inside their cramped shelter, praying the Hutu killers outside their hiding place would never find them. When it was all over, she forgave those killers and is now inspiring others to do the same. This woman is so free.
Such people are my inspiration and my heroes. So freedom to me means free to love unconditionally with nothing holding me back.
